Bizarre question. Of course everyone who loves me will. And please don’t panic. I am not suicidal. May I live up to be a hundred years old!
This piece of writing is given birth to by one of my wildest imaginations, which has more to do with my possessions than my living or dying. I wonder if I am not around how my things will be owned by my family and friends. Since I don’t want any difference of opinions on who should get what, I make it easy for you.
Read on.
Vernika : I begin with you because I know you are most desperate. So, for sure my woolen gloves remain with you. You also get to keep all the stuff in the kitchen including my coffee mug and the red bowl that Kapoor Aunty gave me on my birthday, considering that you are the only one who cooks, at least between the both of us. Plus you get my quilts, my bed sheets my data card, the birthday card that Ankita made for me and all the pictures in the drawing room. Dil thaam ke baithiye, apko milta hai mera bedroom bhi. Poora ka poora. Bhai Waah. My spirit will make sure that the master bedroom too remains with you. Apart from this, keep my novels and all the Reader’s Digests with you. You are the only owner who would be nice to them.
By the way, authority comes with responsibility, so you will also have the privilege of running after maids, getting work done from them, taking their ‘class’ and finally firing them every six months. Please also keep the ‘ghanti’ that Amit gifted. It is going to you for obvious reasons.
Ashu : My partner in crime. You get my IQ and my salary. I have made sure to give you the things most required by you. I would have thought of giving my female friends as well to you, only if they had been safe with you (Pun intended). You can keep the red t shirt that you got for me and also both the pairs of shades. Additionally, you can keep all the furniture, if it ever arrives. You also get my laptop, though I am not sure if you would need it because you anyway have my salary. I also want to give you my hard disk. Please share all the pictures with everyone in the group. You also get to keep all my zehreeley PJs. You are truly deserving.
Aarti : You get to keep my piggy bank which has enough money to go to Las Vegas now. You can also keep the only dress that I have and all my footwear that fits you. Most importantly, you will have the pleasure of owning my nokia phone.
Gauri : My dear sister, you get to keep all my jackets, my only belt, my bags, my wrist watches, all my t shirts that fit you and my scooty pep. My spirit will make sure that you clean the scooty everyday. If you don’t, my spirit will haunt you in the middle of the night whether at home or in hostel. You also get my room in Kanpur with all the stuff that is in it. Ja Simran.
Kratika : You get all my sarees, my limited wall hangings, and all the Indian wear that I have. You can also keep my 11 specs. Get the glasses changed.
Nonu : You get all my female friends and my Amity synergy card. You might need both together.
Meenakshi : You get to keep my hair brushes. Only you would understand how important they are in life. Again, for obvious reasons.
Amish : You get to keep my lip balms.
Sumit and Arinima : Arinima gets my work experience and Sumit gets my laziness. Though he has more than enough of his own, but then he is the one who will value it.
Hemansha : If I am alive, I am sure I will be married before you. So you can keep my wedding date. Make sure the husband is your own.
Ankita : You get my figure. :P
Now that all of you are excited about the stuff you would get, let me tell you that all of the above is not going to come true. I will die the last.
And if I die anytime soon, please know that I am murdered by Vernika. Because she wanted my dongle.
Devanshi
January 02, 2013
